stilldontgotit | 35

Entry tags:

35 - voice;

[Filtered from Xion/100%]

What do you think about betrayal? Is it possible to ever make up for it, and just how far do you have to go to make up, anyway?

It's something I've been thinking about lately. Any answers would help...

[/Filtered]

[Filtered to Roxas]

You got a minute?

[/Filter]

[Filtered to Xion]

What you said earlier got me thinking... I need to quit hiding things and be more honest.

Can I talk to you about something?

[/Filter]

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[ After everything she was told by so many people, about the meaning of trust and doing what is right versus what is easy, and learning how to move forward with your life even when it hurts, Xion's been left very conflicted about what to really do with Riku. The whole thing still hurts monstrously, and to be honest, she still wants space to think.

This is not space.

Resisting the urge to tug at her hair, Xion considers this in silence for a few moments. Then she forces herself to relax and breathe before she replies. ]

What is it?

[There's some hesitance before he replies, if only because he doesn't want to make things worse. Xion still needs time to think, but if he doesn't get this out sooner or later, it could just be a problem.

Sigh. Before he stays anything, Riku runs one of his hands through his hair. How to phrase this...]

I wanted to talk about what I said before, if that's okay. I understand if it's not, but the way I see it, it's the main problem here, and I never did explain everything.

[And by everything he means his side of things. He's definitely explained what's happened since he left.]

Edited 2010-09-03 06:21 (UTC)

[ ...

why isn't there a way to speed up time to get past the parts where all of this is just confusing and aggravating and awful? ]

Okay.

Right. Just let me know if you want me to stop.

[Anyway, here goes nothing...]

I know what I said hurt you, and I know I practically betrayed you.

Truth is, I know what it's like to feel betrayed.

... you do?

[ but she sounds more cautious than concerned. it's a mix of both. ]

It depends on how bad the betrayal is.

That's right.

It was when I worked for Maleficent. I saw Sora with his new friends, and one of them even said I couldn't tag along. After that, Maleficent made it seem like he'd replaced me and Kairi. She twisted things around, but what she said made sense at the time.

We were supposed to see the worlds together, but when I thought he'd ditched us, I felt betrayed. It was bad enough to turn me against him and part of the reason I let the darkness control me.

It wasn't real betrayal, and I know I shouldn't have trusted Maleficent, but the feelings behind it were real. It didn't just hurt me, either; both of us were affected by this.

Edited 2010-09-03 06:48 (UTC)

Well, how about this? Suppose the betrayal wasn't intentional. What then?

Then, depending on what it is, you apologize and make it up to the person as best you can.

Right. Now, let's say someone said something selfish that hurt the person, and that person wasn't used to being betrayed.

I guess what I want to know is how to make up for it, since apologizing's not enough.

Do something really special for them. Like, a visit to a special place, a dinner, something like that.

[ it's a good thing he's not there to see her go incredibly tense.

"To make sure my best friend... sleeps in peace."

They sound so different, somehow.

she wants to be angry. her first reaction is to lash out at this, because how could he so quickly decide his own best friend was a liar? another betrayal. but Riku wasn't the one betrayed, to her mind.

god. breathe. she thinks about his words for a solid two minutes in silence. and once her anger simmers down... she knows there's a point he's trying to reach. ]

So you know ... how much it hurts. [ pause. wait. that didn't come out right. ]

Yeah. And I know it doesn't just hurt one the person who's "betrayed", either.

A lot of times it happens because of a misunderstanding, and not just from one side. Could be a lapse in judgment, someone's jealousy, or even just stress.

Can't do that. It'd just make things worse.

Maybe. [And that's all he's saying, because he's kind of just going to be vague for a bit.]

Well, it's a start.

[A beat]

Anyway, there's something I need to talk to you about.

... I know you didn't mean to say what you said. I know it was a lapse in judgment, Riku, I understand that.

But you still said it. I know it was a mistake and I know you apologized but ... it's hard to just get over it that quickly.

I know. I don't expect you to just forget it either.

Like I said, I know the Keyblade's why you had to die, and I didn't even understand the responsibilities that came with it.

[Sigh. There is another point to this..]

But before I left, I didn't look at the Keyblade that way. I knew it could hurt people, and I knew all about what happened to you, but I wanted to become stronger. And, trust me, I tried training for more than a year.

I got by, but when it came to things like the Third Party attack and the earthquake, I was helpless. I'm sure using the spirits would help, but at the time I didn't think it'd be enough.

And then, when we had to fight you, all I could do was land one hit. All that added up over time, and, selfish as it was, it just made me want one even more. But it wasn't just for my sake, either.

[It's something he's wanted to do ever since he was a kid, even if it got overshadowed by selfish urges. Protecting the people important to him... He's always had good intentions, in a roundabout way.]

I don't look at things that way now, but that's because I know better.

Edited 2010-09-03 07:36 (UTC)

[ ... ]

I just wish you could have seen there was always another way. Before I had the Keyblade, I used a sword... and now that it's gone again, I'm using a bow.

... but I understand. I know what it's like to want to be strong when you're not and everyone around you is.

I knew there was another way. I just wanted more than I could ever get here.

[...Wait.]

... Hold it. You do?

So talk. What is it?

[Had circumstances been different, and had he not gone through hell and back, he'd be reluctant to admit this. However, times have changed. It's enough to get him to admit:]

You were right all along.

Edited 2010-09-03 07:57 (UTC)

[There's a moment of hesitance before a second filter pops up, attempting to make the reply more private. Feel free to notice it or not.]

I believe there are some things that may be too great to simply be forgiven. Even so, a person should always stride to redeem himself when he knows he's done wrong.

...although, whether a person will actually be forgiven or not usually depends on the person who has been betrayed, and for what reason.

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