Riku (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stilldontgotit) wrote2012-02-07 05:38 pm
stilldontgotit) wrote2012-02-07 05:38 pm
Entry tags:
42 - voice/action;
You know, it's kind of crazy to think about. When I first showed up here, I was fifteen, completely powerless, and all I ever wanted was to see the outside world. Everything about this place was new to me. I thought it was a dream come true.
[Mostly, anyway. He had some rough times back then. Selfishness, arrogance, mistakes... It's never fun.]
My friends were a year ahead of me. Learning about the future wasn't easy, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been in that position.
But it's been almost three years. I know my future, and when I leave, I'll probably go right back to where I was. The thing is, I just don't see myself as the same guy my friends know from their time. Not completely.
[There's a pause, followed by a soft 'hm'.]
Anyone else feel that way? Like, after being here for so long, your identity's just kind of changed?
[And with that out of the way, Riku can be found chilling in the battle dome after creating a simulated version of Destiny Islands. After some hanging out there, he'll just be wandering the village. Probably going to hang by the plaza, maybe drop by the library. Anything goes!]
[Mostly, anyway. He had some rough times back then. Selfishness, arrogance, mistakes... It's never fun.]
My friends were a year ahead of me. Learning about the future wasn't easy, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been in that position.
But it's been almost three years. I know my future, and when I leave, I'll probably go right back to where I was. The thing is, I just don't see myself as the same guy my friends know from their time. Not completely.
[There's a pause, followed by a soft 'hm'.]
Anyone else feel that way? Like, after being here for so long, your identity's just kind of changed?
[And with that out of the way, Riku can be found chilling in the battle dome after creating a simulated version of Destiny Islands. After some hanging out there, he'll just be wandering the village. Probably going to hang by the plaza, maybe drop by the library. Anything goes!]
[Voice]
[Voice]
[Totally keeping this civil, yup.]
[Voice]
Back on Auldrant, I never had time for myself when I really wanted to change. I couldn't stop and think about if I really did change or not. Even when I did get a break, it... wasn't any better. [Not with everyone looking at him and talking to him as if he's some kind of monster.]
Here, I can think about it, and I can do things to help me change even more. I've been away from all the things that didn't let me do it for a while now.
So yeah... I think I've changed a lot since I first got here.
[Voice]
That's one good thing about this place. It gives you time to stop and think about everything you've been through.
[Voice]
[Voice]
[Generalized 'you,' of course.]
[Voice]
... Sometimes. Sometimes it just pushes aside everything you need for the sake of it all.
[He's quiet as he speaks. On Auldrant, it was conflict after conflict while he kept pushing aside all of his thoughts for everyone else's sake. His friends, the world... He never realized just how messed up he was until he came here.
He's tired of conflict.]
[Voice]
[And that, sometimes, it's a necessary evil.]
[Voice]
[Still. He really doesn't like it. If he could give back every single life he took for the sake of the world, he would. If he could give them back, no matter what it did to himself... If he could take away all the conflict that caused it...]
[Voice]
[Who does, really? Conflict is seldom an enjoyable experience, after all.]
[Voice]
...
Well, he can think of a few people. But they're kind of crazy.]
[Voice]
[... Yep, he just has to be cynical like that. Oops.]
[Voice]
Besides people like that. [It's an uncomfortable topic, too. Van...]
[Voice]
Then I've got nothing. Maybe masochists? Sociopaths?
[Voice]
[And here Luke was being rhetorical!]
[Voice]
[Voice]
... How'd we get from talking about change to masochists?
[Voice]
[Voice]