stilldontgotit | 45

Entry tags:

45 - voice;

[...okay, so when was the last time he did this? Three years ago? ...ha. Right. It's really been three years since he came to Luceti.

Well, after a few moments of just staring into the journal, Riku clears his throat and decides to speak up.]

You know, it's been three years since I came here, but it feels like I'm just going through the motions. Everything's just so routine. Maybe I'm just not making enough effort to shake things up. Hard to say, but...

[Heh.]

Okay, you know what? I think I should just get to the point. So... yeah, name's Riku, and I'd say I'm in need of some friends. Yes, Kairi, I'm actually doing this by choice this time.

[Because last time was just awkward.]

And for anyone else who's been here a while, got any pointers for keeping busy long term? I know at least some of you keep pretty busy. Heck, if any newcomers have pointers, I'll take just about anything right now.

[OOC: WARNING. Thread with Ino veers slightly into nsfw territory.]

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[ She was going to reply to this. To say something. Something supportive, even! They're friends, right? She wants to be there for him.

That is, until she hears Shikamaru.

And Ino.

Her heart stops, for just an instant, and she immediately hates herself for it. Because she has no business caring, and she knows it. Swear to god she does. But there is a rush of emotion she can't name, and she has to clap a hand over her mouth to keep from saying something, and then just slams the journal shut.

If he's home, he might hear the sudden commotion from her room: the gun shot crack of glass breaking, and her surprised gasp. But if he goes to investigate, all he'll see is an empty room and a partially shattered window, with shards of glass scattered on the grass outside. Oddly, her windowsill seems to be scorched. But that's all the evidence she's left behind. ]

[He heard it all right, and he saw the shattered window for good measure. So, naturally, given that there's obviously something wrong, Riku immediately heads out to try and find her.

He'll probably wind up searching the whole village if he has to, eventually making his way into the forest. He might look a little agitated, but hey, that was kinda unexpected.]

[ It's in the forest he'll find her, about half an hour later. She didn't go very far. She's all curled up on a fallen tree trunk, not really paying attention to her surroundings. Or maybe she just doesn't care to run, when she hears footsteps. She's bone-achingly tired. ]

[One he spots her, he'll slow to a walk, cautiously approaching her one step at a time. He takes a deep breath, and once he gets close enough, he'll try and get her attention.]

Xion?

I'm sorry.

[ It's immediate, and she lowers her face into her hands and shakes her head. ]

I don't ... know what came over me.

...Hey, don't worry about it.

[Here, he'll crouch down next to her.]

But what's wrong, anyway?

[ Xion lifts her face out of her hands and shakes her head again, slowly. ]

Everything...?

[ A weak laugh. ]

How did you do it? When--

[ She stops, abruptly, and claps a hand to her mouth, wide-eyed.

There's no way she can tell him! Luke doesn't want anyone to know, that's always been clear. Her expression shifts from shock into horror and shame and she slumps, pressing her face into both hands again. ]

Do what, Xion?

[He sighs. Something's obviously wrong, but what's he supposed to do at a time like this?]

I can't help you unless I know what's going on.

[ ... after a long, agonizing moment, she lowers her hands and lifts her upper body a little. But she interlaces her fingers, gripping hard. ]

... when I was ... when I was dying. How did you stand it...?

[ Her grip tightens, her knuckles turning white. ]

How did you sit there and watch...?

[ It's not a judgment. It's not a way of saying, "you should have done something." It is, in fact, the complete opposite. She suddenly finds herself, two years later, having an entirely new appreciation for what he must have gone through. For his strength.

Because now she's trying to do the same, and it's killing her. ]

I...

[He sighs, closing his eyes.]

I kept it all bottled up, and I tried to convince myself it'd work out all that time, but it wasn't easy.

[In fact, it was quite the opposite.]

I'm so sorry.

[ Her voice is hushed, and very pained. ]

I can't believe I put you through that. Everyone... everyone I put through that. It must have been so hard.

Hey.

[Xion, don't be like that. After a moment, he'll reach out for her shoulder.]

It's not your fault. Everything that happened back then was outside your control.

[ She makes a soft sound, somewhere between a very faint laugh and a very quiet sob. She reaches up and places her hand over his, actually meeting his eyes, now. Her own are wet, brimming with tears. ]

I know. But ... now that I know how it feels ... [ She shuts her eyes, and the tears fall. ] ... you can't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. Not a soul.

[How it feels...?

Is something else going on now? Well, she did say she was going to tell him, so...

Riku takes a deep breath and nods, keeping a firm grip on her shoulder.]

I understand; my lips are sealed.

[ A smile flashes briefly across her features. There was a reason she cared so much for him. At his best, he is dependable, and brave, and true, and strong.

But the sorrow returns all too quickly, and she briefly shuts her eyes, making tears roll down her cheeks. ]

It's Luke. He's dying, Riku.

[...At first, there are no words. He just pulls Xion into a tight hug. The fact that Luke's dying---

It's so eerily familiar, and for somebody like Xion, it must feel like the world's come crumbling down.

What can he even say right now? He really is at a loss. After all, she's already so upset.]

[ ... what was the last time they hugged? He smells the same. He feels the same. It's so alien and so familiar all at once. And Riku... he's not dying.

She doesn't know how to feel. Her emotions are going haywire, scattered all over the place from her pain and confusion and sorrow. In the end, she just hiccups and leans against him heavily, glad of the support, though she's incapable of saying so. ]

[That's okay. Riku isn't going anywhere; in fact, he's sure Xion feels a rush of emotions right about now. It's a delicate situation, and he's not about to mess things up.

When she leans against him, he just tightens his hold. It's all he can really do. But at the same time...]

I know this probably doesn't mean much, but... it'll all work out. Somehow.

[In a place like Luceti, death isn't final. At least there's a faint silver lining.]

[ She actually laughs, but it's not a happy sound. ]

I know. It's just... the waiting. It's so hard, waiting for something so horrible to happen.

[ She knows she should sit up, shrug it off, move on, that -- he has his own life to attend to. A girlfriend, right? His own thing. But she misses him, too. Now more than ever, suddenly. It's all coming back - how much he was her rock in those turbulent first months of her stay in Luceti.

So she doesn't move. Not just yet. ]

Waiting's always the hardest part. You just... have to stay strong. It's tough, but I know you can pull it off.

[After all, Xion's been through so much. He's not about to discredit her experiences-- if anyone understands what Luke's going through, it's probably her.]

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45 - voice;

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