stilldontgotit | 51 - voice/action;

[After two years, Riku thought that maybe things would turn out all right. Most people who disappear leave in a flash. A month, maybe three. When he woke up in the morning, he expected everything to fall back into its usual routine.

There's just one problem: his apartment's half-empty. At first he thought the absence of Ino was because she'd woken up earlier, maybe decided to do some training. She had a test coming up, after all, but as Riku zips through the apartment, he finds all her belongings have gone amiss.

Stunned silence overtakes him. It's about a half hour later that he addresses the journals.]

Ino's gone. I know she had a lot of friends from back home, so... just thought I'd let you know.

[His voice is strangely subdued, soft and weak. For a moment, he thinks about ending it there, but another thought creeps into his mind.]

How do you guys even handle it? I know some of you have gotten married here or plan to, but don't you realize it could end in a heartbeat? Luceti's just so unpredictable. When you're with someone it's bad enough, but to take the next big step in a place this unstable... I swear I'm not trying to bring anyone down. I just don't understand.

[...]

I'll be out by the lake if anyone needs me.

[With that, he snaps his journal shut, venturing out into the woods with his Komory Bat fluttering close behind. His destination is simple: the larger of Luceti's two lakes. Why there? Well, it has everything to do with a raft he's been keeping for the past five years. One of his first accomplishments.

He's had to replace pieces of it more times than he can count, and the sail's a bit tattered now, but anyone in the area may spot him leaning back against the mast and flicking stones into the water.

His bat perches on his shoulder, and he lets out an airy chuckle.]

Hey, relax. I'll sort this out. Just need a little time...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Bingo. It's kind of funny. This whole time, I knew there was a chance this'd happen, but for some reason, I just stayed optimistic.

[Heh. Maybe he shouldn't have raised his expectations so high, but the alternative's way too depressing to think about.]

But it's Luceti. You, me, anyone could disappear tomorrow. There's just no way to predict it until it's too late.

... Do you regret it?

[ Regret what, exactly, he's not sure he's asking. Maybe the optimism. Maybe getting into the relationship at all. As much as he hates it he knows that sometimes looking at Riku is like looking in a mirror, and though he would love to cling to optimism, there's a part of Kohan that knows the possibility of this being him one day is all too real. That's what it means to live in Luceti. ]

...I don't know.

[Well, that's not entirely true. There are a number of things he doesn't regret, like falling for Ino. However brief it was, being with her pulled him out of the rut that his fallout with Xion left him in. Allowed him to see the good in love rather than the pain.

So, hmm... What does he regret, if anything?]

I think it was worth it, for however long it lasted. I just should've been better prepared. That way it wouldn't hit me as hard as it has.

But when I think of the alternative, I wonder if it'd really make things better.

How... can you even be prepared for something like this?

It's... Hmm.

[He pauses, clicking his tongue as he mulls it over.]

I guess that's up for debate. You can tell yourself again and again that your stay here's only temporary. That you, your friends, anyone could vanish in a heartbeat, but knowing and expecting it are two different things. To really prepare for it, you'd probably have to cut yourself off, and what good would that due in the end?

It'd... probably just hurt. If we're here, then... isn't it alright to just try to make the best of it? Even if that means sometimes...

[ ... it hurts. But for all the happiness he has here, sometimes Kohan wonders if he could handle losing it. ]

I think it's the better outlook. Just means you gotta deal with pain every now and then.

[But Kohan's right-- best to enjoy it while it lasts. Focusing on the dark side of life overshadows the light-- those pleasant moments become lost in a sea of cynicism.]

Yeah, but then... what if it gets to be too much? I mean, when you're that close to someone...

It's a gamble no matter how you look at it. Either you get close and enjoy it while it lasts, then deal with the burnout later, or you distance yourself, stay cynical, and end up feeling lonely.

I wish there was an easier answer. Some kind of middle ground, but I guess that'd be too easy, wouldn't it?

Do you think it would have been better with a goodbye? Not... being able to stop it, since that's probably too much to ask. But knowing it was going to happen soon. That sort of thing.

...Yeah, I think getting closure would've made a world of difference. Some people leave notes, but even that's not the same as actually getting to see them off...

The way things are, it's just too ambiguous. I mean, just think about how long Sora, Kairi, Xion, and the others have been gone now.

I'd rather not.

[ It's out before he can stop it, but then after a moment he continues. ]

I wonder if the Malnosso could even do that much. A while ago I might have thought they wouldn't tell us if they could, but over the past few years... maybe they just can't.

51 - voice/action;

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[voice] ack my notifs apparently vanished a week ago and I never noticed

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